What happens when you disobey chivalry?

Answer 1

If you are interested in Chivalry you need to explore it's origins in Medieval society. A good starting point is the Web site devoted to Medieval life on the related link below. Take a look at your local library for details on Medieval society and look for code of conduct or Chivalry. You'll unearth a wealth of info.

Chivalry was more a code of rules regarding the behavior of Knights. Chivalry developed over time and took on different meanings.

It broke down into 4 distinct periods:

* The Crusades * The military orders * Secular Chivalry * Court Chivalry

Depending upon which period you explore the repercussions of disobeying the code of chivalry would have had different consequences.

Ex:

If a Knight belonged to one of the Chivalric/Military orders (Knights Templar, Knights of Saint John etc) a Knight could be expelled from the order. The punishment really depended upon what the offense was. It would range from penance to expulsion. Serious breeches were dealt with in a trial

To breach Court Chivalry may have led the offender to being removed from court or ostracized. This is much more serious than it sounds - it could have spelled the end of a career.

Chivalry is the use of good manners to the females of the world like holding a door. If you choose not to show these manners you do not disobey but simply ignore it. A refusal to not follow the chivalry of some men could cause you to be labeled a chauvinist pig. Some woman don't want chivalry but equal rights , so this chivalry thing is sorta growing stale. Women want equal pay, equal jobs equal every thing until it comes to helping bringing in the groceries. To me modern chivalry, a scaled back version of court chivalry, is an attitude of caring--about being polite, gracious, and helpful. Therefore, the consequence to not following a code of manners is that you get a reputation for rudeness, and your mother/ friend/whoever will feel less kindly toward you. It is a subtle thing, with consequences of an individual act rarely being visible beyond a glare or a 'thank you'.

This includes holding a door, but the way some guys do it-- running ahead refusing to let me do it myself, generally making a big show of it-- that is not about being helpful to me, it is all about them showing off and expecting gratitude. Some doors are genuinely heavy, and if a woman has a small frame and is wearing heels I can certainly see where assistance would be a blessing. The difference is in the attitude and in the assessment of the situation.

For the most part, chivalry in doorways just has him letting the woman go through the door first if you reach it at the same time. (And if that means she is now ahead of him in line at Dunkin Donuts, or gets the one cab at the taxi stand, he hasclearly made a sacrifice on her behalf.)

But chivalry is also about the man not insisting he is right all the time, the man not always assuming he gets to pick the restaurant or the television channel. And about not watching her struggle with the groceries while he watches tv. Couples have their own division of labor but that ought to include chipping in when the other is struggling.